back to the island

pardon my absence...

nothing will turn your life upside down like moving. and while this move was less painful than many others i've endured (is it bad that i've already experienced many moves?) it still threw off my routine and kept me away from my beloved Island for an extended period of time.

in the interim, we've had the oscars, the (not) state of the union address, a republican response delivered by the indian mr. rogers and the return (and subsequent dismissal) of tiger woods. all things that grabbed my attention and stirred my spirit.

but in the interest of preserving your time, i'll keep it brief...

the oscars: hm. guess i should've gone to see slumdog millionaire.

the nsotu: even if you disagree with obama's politics, how are you not inspired by his ideals. makes you wonder if the republicans are opposed because they really disagree or just want to be contrarian.

the response: rumors of the gop's demise are greatly exaggerated. they have too much money and too much support to completely collapse. but with what we've seen from jindal and michael steele, if i were a republican, it wouldn't inspire too much confidence in my party leadership.

tiger's back (and gone): no surprise that someone (even tiger) who hadn't played competitive golf in eight months would look a little rusty on his return to the tour. but then again, if there's anyone who could win his first tournament back...

finally, those who know me are aware that i disdain all things reality tv. but i might have to break that rule and watch the golf channel's new show - project barkley. few things bring me as many laughs as charles barkley's golf swing. but if top-flight golf instructor hank haney can do this, i have to watch.

aahh...feels good to be back.

god bless charles darwin

i've always believed that there are three topics that can start an argument in a crowded room - sports, politics & religion. i've touched on two of them, here goes the third...

if he were still alive today - and presumably pumped full of living water/voodoo magic/elfin dust - charles darwin would be turning 200 years old on thursday.

walk into most churches in america and mention the theory of evolution and people start sweating like....well, like an evolutionist in church.

evolution and creation don't mix. period. pick a side. you're either with us or against us. chicken or egg. it's one or the other.

or is it?

once upon a time, the sunday sermon was certified and bonded as The Word of God. signed, sealed, delivered. no questions asked. after all, these men were ordained, appointed by The Most High. certainly they couldn't be fallible.

but throughout the decades we've drawn back the curtains on many of our once "infallible" institutions to discover that they're still run by people. many of them are well-intentioned people. but people nonetheless. subject to the same frailties and temptations that the rest of us wrestle with.

while religion hasn't been immune, the revolution has come slowly. in the call and response of the message, the once unified echoes of agreement are now mixed with questions of conscience. it has come as we have watched ideologies of all sorts suffer attacks led from the pulpit. and it has spawned a rift between spirituality and religion.

why can't creation and evolution coexist? there are undoubtedly questions that can't currently be answered by science. things about our existence that may always remain a mystery. for many intelligent, rational thinking people (i'd like to believe i fit into that category), a belief in something bigger than oneself is a comfort and a reassurance in times of overwhelming strife.

at the same time, to consider yourself rational yet deny millions of years of evidence suggesting that the world and everything in it has changed and adapted in an effort to survive is a frightening combination of arrogance and ignorance.

i grew up loving God. though as i've gotten older, i've started to have problems with some of His children. if He truly "has not given us the spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind" (2 timothy 1:7), we should use it to determine how best to balance science and spirituality. let it once again be our moral guide rather than our ideological crutch.

a cry for help

FROM TEH DESK OF THE CHAIRMAN

ATTENTION FRIEND,

I AM THE CHAIRMAIN OF THE MARCAS GRANT ENTERTAINEMT FUND (MGEF) AND I AM WRITING TO INFORM YOU THAT OUR FOUNDATION HAS DISCOVERED AN ERRORS THAT MUST DELIVER TO YOU $3 MILLION. SOME IN OUR ORGANIZATION HAVE BELIEVED THAT TUMULTUOUS TIMES CALL FOR THE RIGHT TO IGNORE SUCH MISTAKES. BUT IT IS BETTER FOR ONE TO DIE POOR AND HONEST THAN TO LIVE A RICH LIE.
THEREFORE WE HAE DOEN RESEARCH AND KNWO THAT YOU HAVE BEEN WAITING FOR THIS MONEY FOR SOME TIME AND WOULD LIKE TO DELIVER IT TO YOU AS SOON AS POSSIBLE. BUT BECAUSE OF GOVERNMENT RULES WE CAN NOT TRANSFER THE FUNDS EASILY. MANY PEOPLE, WHO ARE NOT ALL HONEST, MAKE IT DIFFICULT AND WILL CREATE RULES TO TAKE PORTIONS OF WHAT IS YOURS AND WHEN BEING A DISCIPLINARIAN GOES TO TAKE A WEEKEND RECRUITING VISIT YOU LEFT A FORWARD COMMENT TO PREVENT A SINGEL PENNY FROM BEING MISPLACED.
AFTER YOU RECEIVE THE PROMISSORY NOTE A MAN FROM OUR FOUNDATION WILL ARRIVE AT YOUR HOME TO RETREIVE THE SIGNED NOTE AND DELIVER IT TO OUR BANK WHICH WILL THEN RELASE YOUR FUNDS TO YOU.
IN ORDER TO BEGIN THE PROCESS WE WILL ONLY NEDD THREE THINGS (1) YOUR FULL NAME (2)THE ADDRESS WHERE THE CONSIGMENT WILL BE RECEIVED (3)TWO CONTACT TELEPHONE NUMBERS
OUR COURIER IS READY TO LEAVE IMMEDIATELY. WE MUST HEAR A RESPONSE FROM YOU AS SOON AS POSSIBLE. YOU MAY CONTACT ME AT +19250346018597359

WE AWAIT YOUR REPLAY. GOD BLESS YOU IN YOUR KIND ACTS.

SINCERELY,

THE CHAIRMAN

the art of storytelling

my dad always told me that you could watch a baseball game every day for the rest of your life and you'd more than likely see something you've never seen before.

i once worked with someone who said the reason he loved sports was because you never really knew how it was going to end. while most television shows and movies try to include twists and plot devices, more often than not you have a pretty good idea of how the story will turn out.

(after all, kiefer sutherland's getting good money...they're not gonna blow him up just yet)

but i'm railing against the traditional story structure.

i guess that's not a new idea. some of my favorite books and movies have thumbed their nose at conventional storytelling.

but think about it...how much better would a movie like drumline have been if after the big buildup between the two schools, a third random school won the climactic competition at the end?

how many times does the underdog win? i know america loves rooting for the little guy, but more often than not, the cardinals really don't win the super bowl. so you end up having a nice little story that gets kicked in the teeth by reality.

so i vote that we rise up and demand more from our storytellers. real life is full of humor, drama and action, yet always manages to add a touch of unpredictable reality. if truth really is stranger than fiction, why work so hard?

a-rod's on roids....so what?!?

the world of sports has stopped to bring you a breaking non-story.

alex rodriguez reportedly tested positive for steroids in 2003.

every news organization leading with this story will give any number of reasons that this is earth shattering information.

1. a-rod is baseball's biggest star playing on the biggest stage for the game's biggest team.
   
2. a-rod has led us to believe that he was clean.
3. a-rod is after the most hallowed record in american sports.
   
4. a-rod was going to deliver baseball from evil.
5. a-rod is the guy that people love to hate.

so now that we believe that a-rod really is a-fraud, where's the story? before we light our torches and grab our pitchforks to storm count bud selig's castle, what exactly are we mad about? yes, there's a new poster boy for the scourge of performance enhancing drugs that will eventually enslave our children. but beyond that, what did we learn that we didn't know already?

1. baseball players in 2003 tested positive for steroids.
2. baseball players lied about using steroids.
3. baseball personnel looked the other way when it came to steroid use.

it was no secret that baseball tested players in 2003. it was equally public that if five percent or more tested positive that testing would be made mandatory the following year. guess what, folks? testing would be made mandatory the following year.

the only argument about this story that has any shred of weight is why there are 103 other names that haven't been revealed. but even if we learned their names, what does that solve?

in what we now call the Steroid Era, finding out who took performance enhancing drugs is a little like finding out which actor or musician is gay - except in baseball you don't get a softly lit photo spread in people magazine.

if there's a silver lining, it's that we no longer have a witch hunt on our hands. the majority of the accusations have some basis of fact. but this finger pointing stage we've entered is no more productive than the verbal boiling in oil that so many participated in previously.

if everyone in and around the game is truly interested in cleaning it up (and i believe they are), then talking about who did it serves no purpose. the league has taken a big step by adding serious punishments that appear to have had an effect. the next step is to find a way to keep up with the cheaters. if not to stay in step with their methods, at least to be close enough on their heels that cheating doesn't seem worth the effort.

take a tip from vegas. bring some of the cheaters over to your side. learn from them. study their methods. that may mean a little extra money comes out of the owners coffers every year to pay for r&d. but if the players are going to be punished for their actions, management deserves some consequence for their complicity.

the game is good. always has been. it's survived game fixing scandals and labor strife. flourished in wartime. stood a model for social change. this is merely a brushback pitch.

the man who knew too much

i love the internet. really, what's not to like?

everything you'd ever want is right at your fingertips. religious, secular, artful, obscene, geeky and athletic alike. many things claim to have something for everyone, but it's truly the case on the InterWeb.

by the way, information superhighway, while a clever, high-tech sounding nickname, probably isn't the best description. i'd go with information bazaar.

somedays, i feel like a man at a buffet. so many things look interesting. so many things worthy of trying. so many things worthy of a second helping. so many things being added to the menu. aah, but so little time.

it's then that i wonder if there isn't too much stuff out there. we try to guard against gluttony of the physical appetite. but is there a problem with intellectual gluttony? is it possible to know too much?

does that make me crazy? possibly....

there's something beautiful about mystery (and vice versa). why else would we get tired of the routine? knowing what's to come gets old after awhile. so here's to striking that healthy balance between gluttony and restraint. between adventure and the routine. enjoy the bizarre...and the bazaar!

why signing day is overrated

february 4 is National Letter of Intent Day and as a fan of college football, i guess i should be rejoicing.

but i'm not.

actually, i'm filled with a heapin' helpin' of whogivesacrap.

for the uninitiated, National Letter of Intent Day or Signing Day as it's more commonly called, is the first day of the rest of a high school athlete's life when he or she signs a scholarship letter from the college of his or her choice. over the years it's gone from being just another day in late winter to The Day By Which College Football Programs Are Measured.

it's supposedly the day when the seeds of the recruiting season are harvested. every year, the fanfare over Signing Day has grown. websites and newsletters spend all year tracking high school students. football camps have snagged major corporate sponsors and attract everyone from coaches to shoe peddlers to wannabe agents trying to figure out which 16-year old is going to be The Next Big Thing. networks have even begun devoting airtime to some of the most obnoxious prospects - giving them a platform to stage elaborate selection ceremonies.

before you get your jock straps in a bunch, i'm not knocking the need for recruiting. the ability to scout talent is the lifeblood of any successful company, let alone college football program. but the instant analysis of who won and lost and the collective hoo-rah over who's become an instant national championship contender has about as much merit as michael phelps' ideas on the national drug policy.

1. needles & haystacks - every player in the country gets a rating anywhere from 0 to 5 stars based on their observed talent. a wonderful idea in theory, but in practice needs to be taken with a shaker of salt. it's estimated that are more than 26,000 high schools that sponsor football across the country. that's a lot of players to scout. while the most dedicated evaluators do their best to see as many athletes as they can in person, much of it is still word of mouth and a few glimpses at grainy video (much of it shot by untrained, disinterested high school underclassmen). essentially, the rating system is a completely subjective educated guess.
2. it ain't where you're from, it's where you're at - that's an exaggeration, but not by much. many a recruit have seen their rating rise simply by the schools that have expressed interest in them. as though being a top-notch athlete somehow has a relation to property values.
3. 50 million Irish fans can't be wrong - college football more than most any other sports relies heavily on reputation. it's the reason florida state hung around the preseason top 25 for years despite bobby bowden's titanic dropoff in talent. or the reason that this year will be the year that notre dame returns to prominence. (just like last year. or the year before that.) but it also applies to recruiting. the "brand name" schools get bonus points for past performance. granted, the likes of pete carroll, nick saban and bob stoops have a higher batting average than most. but they also swing and miss occasionally.
   
4. war of attrition - watching a recruiting class progress is kinda like those nature specials with baby turtles trying to get to the sea. there's no way everyone's going to make it to the end. you just hope it's a solid enough number to keep the species alive. between academics and personal issues, some guys never get started. others have a change of heart and decide to transfer. for those that actually make it onto the field, they still have to dodge the obstacles of competition and the potholes of injury. then there's always the fact that some guys just won't be as good as the scouts predicted.
5. it's the coaching, stupid - you don't have 10 year veterans in college football. (even though timmy chang seemed to challenge that notion.) you constantly have turnover in rosters and while talent gives teams an advantage, the difference is usually the angry little men running around with the headphones on. their ability to teach the game and put their players in situations to be successful is critical. it's the reason boise state keeps winning despite never having a five-star recruiting class. it's the reason urban meyer has won with unheralded recruits at utah and with blue-chippers at florida. it's also the reason that tennessee, michigan and nebraska had new coaches in 2008 after putting together top 10 recruiting classes three years earlier.

the recruitniks and scouting junkies will shout endlessly into the night like so many trumpets during a marching band halftime show. winners and losers will be dissected and i'm sure someone somewhere will try and predict the 2012 heisman trophy winner. but the winner of college football's second season will be handed a mantle that is even more mythical than the honor bestowed upon the winner of the first.

and no one will argue.

random thoughts for a tuesday

i began my day by wondering if anyone in the government actually pays their taxes. i ended it by wondering exactly how large the world of underground hip-hop really is. afterward i wondered if there was a connection. maybe it's another offshoot of having a black president. after all, doesn't congress need to try and prove some "street cred" to get in good with the White House?

we'll see if incidences of snitching in the government decrease...

winter in southern california rocks even more than i remember it.

thank you, global warming.

remember being a kid and going to the dentist? you jumped in the chair, the person with the white coat and surgical mask did their business all about you teeth and gums, you got a new toothbrush and case of floss and were sent on your merry way without any knowledge of the details that ...all while (hopefully) missing a bit of school time in the process.

well i took a visit to my local dental professional for the first time in...uh...let's just say awhile. and now that i apparently have to check off the box that says "respectable adult", i get to handle all of the details myself. suddenly a trip to the dentist resembled a trip to the mechanic much more than i ever knew.

see here? you're gonna need a new inlay for your flux capacitor. you wanna get that done today?

few people are happier to see super bowl week end than the people who work at 24-hour sports networks.

let the countdown begin to the opening weekend of The Tournament...truly the greatest sporting days of the year.

as usual, this year's super bowl was flooded with all sorts of new movie trailers. it's become even more evident that hollywood has stopped trying. transformers 2, star trek, fast & furious...haven't we seen these in some form before? by the way, here's a tip... destroying g.i. joe doesn't mean you've made a new movie. it just means you've rehashed an old favorite with a crappy storyline.

there are plenty of people out there with fresh new ideas. perhaps they don't always come screen ready, but that's why you pay writers, isn't it? of all the things we do in this country, our entertainment industry traditionally has been second to none. but with the litany of remakes, adapations and copycat films nowadays, we're apparently outsourcing freshness and creativity as well.

now you know...and knowing is half the battle!

why are british girls so good at sounding like black american soul singers? i'm not complaining. actually, i think it's kinda hot.

i'm looking at you, alice russell.

a friend of mine made a valid observation. what's happened to the nfl's bad guys? ray lewis is doing ballet and lawrence taylor is going to appear on dancing with the stars (following in the footsteps of that lovable villain, warren sapp).

rae carruth sits unimpressed.

and the Oscar goes to...

The awards season is upon us. Let the arguments begin...

Some people are lobbying that Philip Seymour Hoffman was perfect as a possibly pedophiliac priest. Others love Mickey Rourke as a broken down beefcake brawler. Still others are posthumously giving love to Heath Ledger as the Caped Crusader's criminally crazed clown counteragent.

***SPOILER ALERT!!!***

I'm going to tell you right now who the best actor of the year is.

You ready?

Scott Boras.

That's right, the super agent that Bob Sugar wished he could be. Boras came into the Hot Stove season with visions of $200 million contracts dancing in his head. He held the two biggest bargaining chips this winter in Mark Teixeira and Manny Ramirez - at least that's what he wanted you to believe.

And while Boras did get a sizable jackpot with Teixeira (thanks in part to CC Sabathia signing a contract the size of the GDP of some small island nations), that other Sure Thing hasn't been in quite such high demand. After all, take a guy who plays hard for 162 games, puts up All-Star numbers then says and does all the right things off the field...well, anyone can get that guy a big contract.

Then try pulling the same trick with someone who's hitting just slightly better than .250 in those same categories. But this is what makes Boras so intriguing to watch. He's tried to convince everyone that there's actually a bidding war for his client. First, ignoring the Dodgers offer of $45 million for two years in order to wait for more "serious offers". Then creating this idea that the frugal, yet somehow fiscally irresponsible San Francisco Giants were in the mix.

(Note to Scott: They've already had their share of petulant power hitting left fielders...and yours isn't even chasing any records)

To top it off, floating a story that the Texas Rangers (whom Boras hornswaggled into the A-Rod megadeal) were considering pursuing Ramirez. In other news, I'm considering pursuing Gabrielle Union for a date...stay tuned.

In the end, we all know that Manny will be patrolling left field at Chavez Ravine when April rolls around. Just like we know that Indiana Jones will end up clutching treasure in one hand and a weathered fedora in the other. But we watch to see exactly how it happens.

So while I predicted the ending to this show moments after the lights went down, kudos to you, Mr. Boras. You've kept me watching every minute of it.