waiting for (economic) independence day

the frustration i've had is that american economics has recently been discussed as a zero-sum game. it's either capitalism or socialism...no ifs, ands or buts. and while a purely socialist economic system & government has been proven repeatedly not to be optimal, the idea that we can cling to capitalism as it currently exists is naive.

at some point, the cycles of boom and bust that we've endured were going to catch up to us. sure, it's brought us a ton of good - the good ol' InterWeb that we all enjoy so much probably wouldn't be nearly as widespread or profitable as it is now without capitalist innovation. (honestly, when i was in high school, perez hilton was the weird kid who hung out by himself. now he's a pseudo-celebrity.) and in the grand scheme of things, it really didn't affect the general population when the whole thing went pop in the late '90s - unless you were a tech geek who spent all of his stock options on a palace and a ton of toys in the silicon valley.

but it was inevitable that the same cycle would eventually attach itself to something integral like the financial sector (and by extension, the housing market). suddenly when the bubble bursts, the fallout affects everybody. if we've learned nothing else, it's that human nature tends more toward all for one than one for all. and that applies to any system - capitalist, socialist, communist, etc.

as the world's leader in capitalism, it's little surprise that we were the first to find its pitfalls. which leads me to believe we'll see ourselves engaged in an interesting social & economic experiment in the coming decade or so. make no mistake, our military has long been used as a socialist tool (not to suggest that they don't provide a very needed and very welcomed defense, but they've also been used to promote and protect american business interests worldwide). and as we've used it to the neglect of domestic affairs, don't be shocked to see more socialist ideals creep into the public discourse.

that rambling preamble was all to suggest that there has to be a semi-happy medium. the real question is where the line is drawn. there are plenty of people who are smarter and more educated in this subject that i am (and presumably aren't currently engaged in watching a spongebob squarepants marathon). we can only hope their voices and ideas are heard and applied in a reasonably timely fashion.

anyway, that's my two cents (adjusted for inflation, of course).

my blue heaven

act like you've been there before.

that's what's commonly said about athletes who perform exaggerated celebrations after routine accomplishments. don't pose and preen after a scoring a touchdown, hitting a home run or burying a 3-point shot. it's a part of your job - you've done it previously, you expect to do it and you'll do it again. no big whoop.

but what if you've really never been there before? what then?

as an "esteemed member of the media" i've seen my share of press boxes and done my share of interviews, but today was different. i was covering the dodgers.

i don't want to give you the impression that i couldn't keep my objective wits about me. on the outside, i was the picture of professionalism. sure, i made the typical rookie mistakes like not knowing where to find the media parking lot, the credentialing table, the press box or my spot in it. but at least i looked like i belonged.

on the inside, i was as happy as adam lambert in a mascara factory. walking down the halls lined looking at old black and white photos with greats like robinson, reese, koufax and drysdale would be awesome for any baseball fan, but even better if you're part of the blue crew during your down time.

if you've done this dozens of times, seeing vin scully, dressed in a dodger blue-tinged blazer, standing in the doorway to the press box doesn't make you want to run over and tell him that he has the greatest job in the world and how much you'd love to have it (but only after he's done with it, of course). 

if you've done this dozens of times, you don't have the urge to tell fernando valenzuela that your first memories of watching baseball revolve around fernandomania and that crazy rookie season of 1981. 

if you've done this dozens of times, seeing Nancy Bea and Mike Brito don't secretly make you happy inside. the dodger dogs don't smell quite as good and the cookies aren't quite as chocolatey.

covering your team for the first time is truly a labor of love. it showed a bit when i stumbled over my first question during a short interview with orlando hudson. after all, the o-dog had become an immediate fan favorite in los angeles (that's what happens when you hit for the cycle in your home debut). 

once the game started and i was in front of my computer, i began to feel more at home. though it would have been nice to see the dodgers win (they're 0-2 when i've been in the stadium this year, by the way). they say it's never as good as your first time, but it's also never as awkward.

i ain't mad at 'cha

i was having a discussion with a friend recently. not an actual discussion...just a series of text messages, the whole of which constitute the average 21st century discussion. but i digress.

the topic was performance enhancing drugs and the men who love them. he was partially filled with moderate indignation that a whole generation of players could cheat the game.

i didn't care.

he said they only way they should get into the hall of fame is if they buy a ticket.

i didn't care.

he had no problem if a generation of hall of fame classes looked like this guy.

i kinda cared. but not enough.

you see, i'm burned out on cheaters and scum. i've had my fill of scandal and situations. some days the sports world feels as foreign (and dangerous) as mos eisley.

in short...my anger reservoir is dry.

baseball player busted for 'roids? yawn. football player gets caught packing heat? ho-hum. basketball player smokes two joints before he smokes two joints? whatever. let him smoke two more.

as i get older, my sports philosophy borrows from frank cushman. you remember cush; jerry maguire's quarterback prodigy who tried to remove himself from the maguire-sugar feud with one simple phrase.

"i just want to play football."

that's where i am right now. i've heard all the arguments ad nauseum. they're cheaters! they're criminals! kick 'em out, lock 'em up and let 'em rot! my response can be summed up in a pair of simple if-then questions.

a) if they are playing, then how will they help the team?

or

b) if they are not playing, then how will it hurt the team?

in short (with all apologies to jerry o'connell) i just want to watch ball.

there have always been cheaters, criminals and miscreants in professional sports and no amount of finger pointing and spotlighting bad behavior is going to prevent it in the future. it has little to do with money, talent or entitlement. some people have a knack for finding trouble. some of them just happen to run, jump, throw, hit, catch better than the rest of us. the sooner we accept it, the sooner we can all move on.

of course, if this attitude catches on, the 24-hour sports news cycle that thrives on creating, reporting and exasperating train wrecks might cannibalize itself. which most likely would put me on the bread line.

that's a scandal i'd certainly care about that.

dog people

i spent a portion of yesterday at the beach enjoying the sun and hanging out at the los angeles bbq fest.

good times, by the way. it was the second year, hopefully they begin to invest in some advertising. sounds like most people either heard about it through word of mouth or just by seeing the tents set up near the beach.

but during Marcas' Day Out, i was reminded of how much people love their dogs. and how much that annoys me. it's become commonplace for people to take their dogs everywhere. shopping malls, restaurants, grocery stores. sanitation be damned.

what was once a fad for overindulged, eccentric socialites with little to no understanding of life for us non one-percenters has become a social epidemic.

perhaps that last sentence says it all, but in case you were unclear, i'm not Dog People. 

to begin with, i find it strange that Dog People love dogs more than they love people. i can only imagine how horrible their interactions with people have been to drive them into the furry paws of a noisy, sloppy animal that not only is riled up by most any sound it hears, but will continually holler at the same sound. even if it happens every day at the same time. sure you can say that of some people - then they stop being infants and realize the mailman is nothing to freak out over. your value as a warning signal is lessened when you bark at everything.

lest you think i'm speaking through prejudice and not knowledge, i've lived with Dog People. and even with the most responsible dog owners, you (as a non-dog owner) still end up bearing some responsibility for the dog. making sure it doesn't accidentally run through the slightest open door, stopping it from eating anything and everything it finds on the floor. not to mention the inevitable chewing of some item you absent-mindedly left sitting on a table.

and there's history here as well. too many times as a kid, i was chased by barking dogs while riding my bike or walking to the bus stop. understandable if i had irritated the creature in some way. but aside from your average North American Drama Queen, i don't know any animal that gets upset over a lack of eye contact.

dogs are like children. no one loves yours as much as you do. most of us don't want to see or hear about it all the time. but unlike children, they don't have to go everywhere with you. your dog has no idea what an airplane flying an advertising banner is all about. and something tells me that even if he did, like the rest of us, he wouldn't much care.

walking your dog if fine. even taking your dog to the park is a good idea. but unless you're blind or disabled in some way, i don't want it hanging around while i'm eating or wandering underfoot while i'm walking in a crowded public area. it doesn't need to be in the office and you're crazy if you think it's a good idea to take doggie to market.

hopefully this is a phase, but something tells me this isn't going away anytime soon. Sounds like a case for Wade Blasingame.

what the hell is wrong with me? what's missing? i have a job. i have an apartment. i have friends. but i feel like there's something wrong. i don't know what it is. it's empty. not from hunger. but it doesn't feel like a lack of fulfillment. it is it anxiety? is it fear? i don't know. and it bothers me. i want to fix the problem. i want to know that i'm okay. and i don't. 

playing hardball

last week i was asked to run for public office.

this isn't the setup to a joke.

a friend called me to say that a municipal public official was not running for re-election and to his knowledge there was no one running for that seat and that i'd be the perfect candidate.

said aloud, the idea sounds perfectly ridiculous. the last campaign of any sort that i was involved in was my victory for vice-president...of the eighth grade. and while i voted in every election, i never followed the day-to-day workings of government until He Who Must Not Be Named was heading out of office in washington.

so why me? i'm the square peg. the fifth wheel. i'm a cartoon geek. a sports guy. i've spent my adult life more worried about busting the phillies than filibustering.

but when i think about it, it makes sense. in a year where Change was more ubiquitous than ryan seacrest, why not go after someone who has a working knowledge of the area, but is still enough of an outsider to not be jaded by the local view.

(admittedly, i do feel a bit like i'm being obama'd...the statement "he's black, he's young and he's smart" has reportedly been uttered more than once. i'm flattered that people feel that way about me, but it also feels like an artificial construct and i'm not comfortable being mini-me.)

the reasons to run are numerous, though few of them seem to be good. perks like a bigger paycheck (always attractive...even more when you're surrounded by debt) and increased attention (though the latter might be more of a liability than an asset). the experience and adventure of running for and holding public office. more importantly, there's also the satisfaction of knowing i could help a community. though it seems harder to find that love without a prior connection to the community. or will that love come by acclamation?

then there are the other questions...can i really enact change through policy? or is it better spurred through the grass roots? where is the line between acknowledging supporters and being beholden to interests? can i walk that line? what about my current career aspirations? would they be on hold? would holding public office help enhance those opportunities

all of these things are continually running through my mind. soon i will need to make my final decision. i have come to the fork in the road. let's hope i go the right way.

back to the beach

after an extended hiatus, i'm back.

at first, i chalked up the break to the rigors and stresses of moving. packing, unpacking, settling in...all that good stuff.

turns out, i was just lazy.

so here's to fighting lethargy. a nice bowl of oatmeal, a hot cup of mate and tom & jerry on the tube.

it's good to be home.

when the angels play the padres, who does god cheer for?

we've seen and heard it plenty of times. an athlete succeeds at something - sets a record, wins a big game, takes home a trophy - then thanks god.

it's a practice that rankles people for various reasons. some people find it disingenuous. others believe in the separation of church and State College. still others just wonder if god really picks a side and if he helped your team, was he going against my team?

it never bothered me one way or another. until recently.

maybe i'm getting a complex, but i'm starting to think god hates the san francisco 49ers. these feelings of inadequacy have become heightened in the wake of noted god-squadder kurt warner stopping in san francisco to talk with niner management about a possible contract. days later, he re-signed with the arizona cardinals saying god told him "you're supposed to be in arizona."

i immediately flashed back to 1993 when reggie white was shopping his wares around the nfl. it seemed a virtual lock that he was going to end up in the bay area. right up until the moment he didn't. instead he signed with the green bay packers because god told him in a dream that he should go to green bay.

does god love some players or cities more than others? can san franciscans consider themselves saved since god didn't send his disciples to their town? should cardinal and packer fans pray harder?

look, i don't ridicule anyone's beliefs. i myself have prayed over difficult decisions asking for guidance. perhaps you were given clarity. shown something negative about one of your options. felt a higher level of comfort in one place. but i'm not believing that contract negotiations are being decided from above.

i like kurt warner. i think he's a good football player and an even better human being. and (except when he's playing the 49ers) i generally wish him well on the football field. but his decision to remain in the desert may have been inspired, but it wasn't divine.

an open letter...

to: shaquille o'neal
david stern, nba commissioner
john fahey, world anti-doping agency, commissioner
assorted physicians
parents of impressionable young athletes

to all concerned parties,

recently, the issue of steroids has gripped american sports like at no other time. with stories of performance enhancing drugs running rampant through major league baseball clubhouses. myriad positive drug tests revealed in cycling. rumor and innuendo about muscled-up supermen running about the nfl. the constant raised eyebrow at the feats of some olympic athletes. all of these things have conspired to taint the highest levels of athletics in this country as well as globally.

mr. stern, i am aware that while your league has historically dealt with several drug problems (the cocaine scandal of the '80s, the continuing issue of marijuana use), you remain unstained by the specter of steroids

but i am here today to ask that we look the other way and give one particular athlete a pass.

shaquille o'neal.

before you bombard me with requests for proof and claims of libel, i'm not suggesting that The Diesel is doing anything untoward.

i'm asking that we make it okay for him to take them from this point forward.

this is a man who has created an endless array of nicknames for himself. he's danced with the jabbawockeez. he's put out some of the league's greatest bulletin board material. yet through it all, he remains one of the league's good guys. oh and by the way, he's also one of the most dominant players the game has ever seen.

which is why we need to do what we can to help keep him in the game. after magic johnson and larry bird retired, we were fortunate enough to have michael jordan take the game to a level of popularity that few people ever imagined. after his (final) retirement, the search for a successor began. who would be the man to help sustain the game?

kobe bryant, lebron james and dwyane wade certainly have the talent to carry that mantle. nate robinson and gilbert arenas have shown us they have the charisma. tim duncan has that humble everyman quality that people can relate to.

but no one combines all those qualities like The Big Shaqtus. his game and success speak for itself. he is literally larger than life, yet somehow manages to be a kid. a combination like that will be hard to replace. while dwight howard looks to be the next in line for the crown, he'll need to be a bit more successful on the court to claim the throne. even then, he may be too much of a nice guy. shaq has that right mixture of nice and nasty that makes him loveable, hateable and eminently watchable all the time.

so whaddya say? let's help The Big Fella out. think of it as an investment in america's entertainment future. this is one of those rare times when we recognize a good thing before it's gone. let's try to hold onto it a little bit longer.

back to the island

pardon my absence...

nothing will turn your life upside down like moving. and while this move was less painful than many others i've endured (is it bad that i've already experienced many moves?) it still threw off my routine and kept me away from my beloved Island for an extended period of time.

in the interim, we've had the oscars, the (not) state of the union address, a republican response delivered by the indian mr. rogers and the return (and subsequent dismissal) of tiger woods. all things that grabbed my attention and stirred my spirit.

but in the interest of preserving your time, i'll keep it brief...

the oscars: hm. guess i should've gone to see slumdog millionaire.

the nsotu: even if you disagree with obama's politics, how are you not inspired by his ideals. makes you wonder if the republicans are opposed because they really disagree or just want to be contrarian.

the response: rumors of the gop's demise are greatly exaggerated. they have too much money and too much support to completely collapse. but with what we've seen from jindal and michael steele, if i were a republican, it wouldn't inspire too much confidence in my party leadership.

tiger's back (and gone): no surprise that someone (even tiger) who hadn't played competitive golf in eight months would look a little rusty on his return to the tour. but then again, if there's anyone who could win his first tournament back...

finally, those who know me are aware that i disdain all things reality tv. but i might have to break that rule and watch the golf channel's new show - project barkley. few things bring me as many laughs as charles barkley's golf swing. but if top-flight golf instructor hank haney can do this, i have to watch.

aahh...feels good to be back.

god bless charles darwin

i've always believed that there are three topics that can start an argument in a crowded room - sports, politics & religion. i've touched on two of them, here goes the third...

if he were still alive today - and presumably pumped full of living water/voodoo magic/elfin dust - charles darwin would be turning 200 years old on thursday.

walk into most churches in america and mention the theory of evolution and people start sweating like....well, like an evolutionist in church.

evolution and creation don't mix. period. pick a side. you're either with us or against us. chicken or egg. it's one or the other.

or is it?

once upon a time, the sunday sermon was certified and bonded as The Word of God. signed, sealed, delivered. no questions asked. after all, these men were ordained, appointed by The Most High. certainly they couldn't be fallible.

but throughout the decades we've drawn back the curtains on many of our once "infallible" institutions to discover that they're still run by people. many of them are well-intentioned people. but people nonetheless. subject to the same frailties and temptations that the rest of us wrestle with.

while religion hasn't been immune, the revolution has come slowly. in the call and response of the message, the once unified echoes of agreement are now mixed with questions of conscience. it has come as we have watched ideologies of all sorts suffer attacks led from the pulpit. and it has spawned a rift between spirituality and religion.

why can't creation and evolution coexist? there are undoubtedly questions that can't currently be answered by science. things about our existence that may always remain a mystery. for many intelligent, rational thinking people (i'd like to believe i fit into that category), a belief in something bigger than oneself is a comfort and a reassurance in times of overwhelming strife.

at the same time, to consider yourself rational yet deny millions of years of evidence suggesting that the world and everything in it has changed and adapted in an effort to survive is a frightening combination of arrogance and ignorance.

i grew up loving God. though as i've gotten older, i've started to have problems with some of His children. if He truly "has not given us the spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind" (2 timothy 1:7), we should use it to determine how best to balance science and spirituality. let it once again be our moral guide rather than our ideological crutch.

a cry for help

FROM TEH DESK OF THE CHAIRMAN

ATTENTION FRIEND,

I AM THE CHAIRMAIN OF THE MARCAS GRANT ENTERTAINEMT FUND (MGEF) AND I AM WRITING TO INFORM YOU THAT OUR FOUNDATION HAS DISCOVERED AN ERRORS THAT MUST DELIVER TO YOU $3 MILLION. SOME IN OUR ORGANIZATION HAVE BELIEVED THAT TUMULTUOUS TIMES CALL FOR THE RIGHT TO IGNORE SUCH MISTAKES. BUT IT IS BETTER FOR ONE TO DIE POOR AND HONEST THAN TO LIVE A RICH LIE.
THEREFORE WE HAE DOEN RESEARCH AND KNWO THAT YOU HAVE BEEN WAITING FOR THIS MONEY FOR SOME TIME AND WOULD LIKE TO DELIVER IT TO YOU AS SOON AS POSSIBLE. BUT BECAUSE OF GOVERNMENT RULES WE CAN NOT TRANSFER THE FUNDS EASILY. MANY PEOPLE, WHO ARE NOT ALL HONEST, MAKE IT DIFFICULT AND WILL CREATE RULES TO TAKE PORTIONS OF WHAT IS YOURS AND WHEN BEING A DISCIPLINARIAN GOES TO TAKE A WEEKEND RECRUITING VISIT YOU LEFT A FORWARD COMMENT TO PREVENT A SINGEL PENNY FROM BEING MISPLACED.
AFTER YOU RECEIVE THE PROMISSORY NOTE A MAN FROM OUR FOUNDATION WILL ARRIVE AT YOUR HOME TO RETREIVE THE SIGNED NOTE AND DELIVER IT TO OUR BANK WHICH WILL THEN RELASE YOUR FUNDS TO YOU.
IN ORDER TO BEGIN THE PROCESS WE WILL ONLY NEDD THREE THINGS (1) YOUR FULL NAME (2)THE ADDRESS WHERE THE CONSIGMENT WILL BE RECEIVED (3)TWO CONTACT TELEPHONE NUMBERS
OUR COURIER IS READY TO LEAVE IMMEDIATELY. WE MUST HEAR A RESPONSE FROM YOU AS SOON AS POSSIBLE. YOU MAY CONTACT ME AT +19250346018597359

WE AWAIT YOUR REPLAY. GOD BLESS YOU IN YOUR KIND ACTS.

SINCERELY,

THE CHAIRMAN

the art of storytelling

my dad always told me that you could watch a baseball game every day for the rest of your life and you'd more than likely see something you've never seen before.

i once worked with someone who said the reason he loved sports was because you never really knew how it was going to end. while most television shows and movies try to include twists and plot devices, more often than not you have a pretty good idea of how the story will turn out.

(after all, kiefer sutherland's getting good money...they're not gonna blow him up just yet)

but i'm railing against the traditional story structure.

i guess that's not a new idea. some of my favorite books and movies have thumbed their nose at conventional storytelling.

but think about it...how much better would a movie like drumline have been if after the big buildup between the two schools, a third random school won the climactic competition at the end?

how many times does the underdog win? i know america loves rooting for the little guy, but more often than not, the cardinals really don't win the super bowl. so you end up having a nice little story that gets kicked in the teeth by reality.

so i vote that we rise up and demand more from our storytellers. real life is full of humor, drama and action, yet always manages to add a touch of unpredictable reality. if truth really is stranger than fiction, why work so hard?

a-rod's on roids....so what?!?

the world of sports has stopped to bring you a breaking non-story.

alex rodriguez reportedly tested positive for steroids in 2003.

every news organization leading with this story will give any number of reasons that this is earth shattering information.

1. a-rod is baseball's biggest star playing on the biggest stage for the game's biggest team.
   
2. a-rod has led us to believe that he was clean.
3. a-rod is after the most hallowed record in american sports.
   
4. a-rod was going to deliver baseball from evil.
5. a-rod is the guy that people love to hate.

so now that we believe that a-rod really is a-fraud, where's the story? before we light our torches and grab our pitchforks to storm count bud selig's castle, what exactly are we mad about? yes, there's a new poster boy for the scourge of performance enhancing drugs that will eventually enslave our children. but beyond that, what did we learn that we didn't know already?

1. baseball players in 2003 tested positive for steroids.
2. baseball players lied about using steroids.
3. baseball personnel looked the other way when it came to steroid use.

it was no secret that baseball tested players in 2003. it was equally public that if five percent or more tested positive that testing would be made mandatory the following year. guess what, folks? testing would be made mandatory the following year.

the only argument about this story that has any shred of weight is why there are 103 other names that haven't been revealed. but even if we learned their names, what does that solve?

in what we now call the Steroid Era, finding out who took performance enhancing drugs is a little like finding out which actor or musician is gay - except in baseball you don't get a softly lit photo spread in people magazine.

if there's a silver lining, it's that we no longer have a witch hunt on our hands. the majority of the accusations have some basis of fact. but this finger pointing stage we've entered is no more productive than the verbal boiling in oil that so many participated in previously.

if everyone in and around the game is truly interested in cleaning it up (and i believe they are), then talking about who did it serves no purpose. the league has taken a big step by adding serious punishments that appear to have had an effect. the next step is to find a way to keep up with the cheaters. if not to stay in step with their methods, at least to be close enough on their heels that cheating doesn't seem worth the effort.

take a tip from vegas. bring some of the cheaters over to your side. learn from them. study their methods. that may mean a little extra money comes out of the owners coffers every year to pay for r&d. but if the players are going to be punished for their actions, management deserves some consequence for their complicity.

the game is good. always has been. it's survived game fixing scandals and labor strife. flourished in wartime. stood a model for social change. this is merely a brushback pitch.

the man who knew too much

i love the internet. really, what's not to like?

everything you'd ever want is right at your fingertips. religious, secular, artful, obscene, geeky and athletic alike. many things claim to have something for everyone, but it's truly the case on the InterWeb.

by the way, information superhighway, while a clever, high-tech sounding nickname, probably isn't the best description. i'd go with information bazaar.

somedays, i feel like a man at a buffet. so many things look interesting. so many things worthy of trying. so many things worthy of a second helping. so many things being added to the menu. aah, but so little time.

it's then that i wonder if there isn't too much stuff out there. we try to guard against gluttony of the physical appetite. but is there a problem with intellectual gluttony? is it possible to know too much?

does that make me crazy? possibly....

there's something beautiful about mystery (and vice versa). why else would we get tired of the routine? knowing what's to come gets old after awhile. so here's to striking that healthy balance between gluttony and restraint. between adventure and the routine. enjoy the bizarre...and the bazaar!

why signing day is overrated

february 4 is National Letter of Intent Day and as a fan of college football, i guess i should be rejoicing.

but i'm not.

actually, i'm filled with a heapin' helpin' of whogivesacrap.

for the uninitiated, National Letter of Intent Day or Signing Day as it's more commonly called, is the first day of the rest of a high school athlete's life when he or she signs a scholarship letter from the college of his or her choice. over the years it's gone from being just another day in late winter to The Day By Which College Football Programs Are Measured.

it's supposedly the day when the seeds of the recruiting season are harvested. every year, the fanfare over Signing Day has grown. websites and newsletters spend all year tracking high school students. football camps have snagged major corporate sponsors and attract everyone from coaches to shoe peddlers to wannabe agents trying to figure out which 16-year old is going to be The Next Big Thing. networks have even begun devoting airtime to some of the most obnoxious prospects - giving them a platform to stage elaborate selection ceremonies.

before you get your jock straps in a bunch, i'm not knocking the need for recruiting. the ability to scout talent is the lifeblood of any successful company, let alone college football program. but the instant analysis of who won and lost and the collective hoo-rah over who's become an instant national championship contender has about as much merit as michael phelps' ideas on the national drug policy.

1. needles & haystacks - every player in the country gets a rating anywhere from 0 to 5 stars based on their observed talent. a wonderful idea in theory, but in practice needs to be taken with a shaker of salt. it's estimated that are more than 26,000 high schools that sponsor football across the country. that's a lot of players to scout. while the most dedicated evaluators do their best to see as many athletes as they can in person, much of it is still word of mouth and a few glimpses at grainy video (much of it shot by untrained, disinterested high school underclassmen). essentially, the rating system is a completely subjective educated guess.
2. it ain't where you're from, it's where you're at - that's an exaggeration, but not by much. many a recruit have seen their rating rise simply by the schools that have expressed interest in them. as though being a top-notch athlete somehow has a relation to property values.
3. 50 million Irish fans can't be wrong - college football more than most any other sports relies heavily on reputation. it's the reason florida state hung around the preseason top 25 for years despite bobby bowden's titanic dropoff in talent. or the reason that this year will be the year that notre dame returns to prominence. (just like last year. or the year before that.) but it also applies to recruiting. the "brand name" schools get bonus points for past performance. granted, the likes of pete carroll, nick saban and bob stoops have a higher batting average than most. but they also swing and miss occasionally.
   
4. war of attrition - watching a recruiting class progress is kinda like those nature specials with baby turtles trying to get to the sea. there's no way everyone's going to make it to the end. you just hope it's a solid enough number to keep the species alive. between academics and personal issues, some guys never get started. others have a change of heart and decide to transfer. for those that actually make it onto the field, they still have to dodge the obstacles of competition and the potholes of injury. then there's always the fact that some guys just won't be as good as the scouts predicted.
5. it's the coaching, stupid - you don't have 10 year veterans in college football. (even though timmy chang seemed to challenge that notion.) you constantly have turnover in rosters and while talent gives teams an advantage, the difference is usually the angry little men running around with the headphones on. their ability to teach the game and put their players in situations to be successful is critical. it's the reason boise state keeps winning despite never having a five-star recruiting class. it's the reason urban meyer has won with unheralded recruits at utah and with blue-chippers at florida. it's also the reason that tennessee, michigan and nebraska had new coaches in 2008 after putting together top 10 recruiting classes three years earlier.

the recruitniks and scouting junkies will shout endlessly into the night like so many trumpets during a marching band halftime show. winners and losers will be dissected and i'm sure someone somewhere will try and predict the 2012 heisman trophy winner. but the winner of college football's second season will be handed a mantle that is even more mythical than the honor bestowed upon the winner of the first.

and no one will argue.

random thoughts for a tuesday

i began my day by wondering if anyone in the government actually pays their taxes. i ended it by wondering exactly how large the world of underground hip-hop really is. afterward i wondered if there was a connection. maybe it's another offshoot of having a black president. after all, doesn't congress need to try and prove some "street cred" to get in good with the White House?

we'll see if incidences of snitching in the government decrease...

winter in southern california rocks even more than i remember it.

thank you, global warming.

remember being a kid and going to the dentist? you jumped in the chair, the person with the white coat and surgical mask did their business all about you teeth and gums, you got a new toothbrush and case of floss and were sent on your merry way without any knowledge of the details that ...all while (hopefully) missing a bit of school time in the process.

well i took a visit to my local dental professional for the first time in...uh...let's just say awhile. and now that i apparently have to check off the box that says "respectable adult", i get to handle all of the details myself. suddenly a trip to the dentist resembled a trip to the mechanic much more than i ever knew.

see here? you're gonna need a new inlay for your flux capacitor. you wanna get that done today?

few people are happier to see super bowl week end than the people who work at 24-hour sports networks.

let the countdown begin to the opening weekend of The Tournament...truly the greatest sporting days of the year.

as usual, this year's super bowl was flooded with all sorts of new movie trailers. it's become even more evident that hollywood has stopped trying. transformers 2, star trek, fast & furious...haven't we seen these in some form before? by the way, here's a tip... destroying g.i. joe doesn't mean you've made a new movie. it just means you've rehashed an old favorite with a crappy storyline.

there are plenty of people out there with fresh new ideas. perhaps they don't always come screen ready, but that's why you pay writers, isn't it? of all the things we do in this country, our entertainment industry traditionally has been second to none. but with the litany of remakes, adapations and copycat films nowadays, we're apparently outsourcing freshness and creativity as well.

now you know...and knowing is half the battle!

why are british girls so good at sounding like black american soul singers? i'm not complaining. actually, i think it's kinda hot.

i'm looking at you, alice russell.

a friend of mine made a valid observation. what's happened to the nfl's bad guys? ray lewis is doing ballet and lawrence taylor is going to appear on dancing with the stars (following in the footsteps of that lovable villain, warren sapp).

rae carruth sits unimpressed.

and the Oscar goes to...

The awards season is upon us. Let the arguments begin...

Some people are lobbying that Philip Seymour Hoffman was perfect as a possibly pedophiliac priest. Others love Mickey Rourke as a broken down beefcake brawler. Still others are posthumously giving love to Heath Ledger as the Caped Crusader's criminally crazed clown counteragent.

***SPOILER ALERT!!!***

I'm going to tell you right now who the best actor of the year is.

You ready?

Scott Boras.

That's right, the super agent that Bob Sugar wished he could be. Boras came into the Hot Stove season with visions of $200 million contracts dancing in his head. He held the two biggest bargaining chips this winter in Mark Teixeira and Manny Ramirez - at least that's what he wanted you to believe.

And while Boras did get a sizable jackpot with Teixeira (thanks in part to CC Sabathia signing a contract the size of the GDP of some small island nations), that other Sure Thing hasn't been in quite such high demand. After all, take a guy who plays hard for 162 games, puts up All-Star numbers then says and does all the right things off the field...well, anyone can get that guy a big contract.

Then try pulling the same trick with someone who's hitting just slightly better than .250 in those same categories. But this is what makes Boras so intriguing to watch. He's tried to convince everyone that there's actually a bidding war for his client. First, ignoring the Dodgers offer of $45 million for two years in order to wait for more "serious offers". Then creating this idea that the frugal, yet somehow fiscally irresponsible San Francisco Giants were in the mix.

(Note to Scott: They've already had their share of petulant power hitting left fielders...and yours isn't even chasing any records)

To top it off, floating a story that the Texas Rangers (whom Boras hornswaggled into the A-Rod megadeal) were considering pursuing Ramirez. In other news, I'm considering pursuing Gabrielle Union for a date...stay tuned.

In the end, we all know that Manny will be patrolling left field at Chavez Ravine when April rolls around. Just like we know that Indiana Jones will end up clutching treasure in one hand and a weathered fedora in the other. But we watch to see exactly how it happens.

So while I predicted the ending to this show moments after the lights went down, kudos to you, Mr. Boras. You've kept me watching every minute of it.

presenting...The Scrappies!

as a self-proclaimed geek and cartoon junkie, i had the boomerang network on while making lunch a couple of days ago.

if you're ever wondering where a lot of the cool cartoons went....check out boomerang. it's awesome!

i noticed then that jabberjaw might be one of the most annoying characters ever created. you know jabberjaw...stupid, wisecracking shark that somehow played in a rock band and went around solving mysteries. it was one of a number of bad scooby-doo knockoffs that hanna-barbera foisted upon children of the '70s.

initally - mostly because of the combined feelings of hunger and irritation that were gripping me like a vise - i thought that jabberjaw was hands down the bane of the cartoon world. but after having a belly full of rice and vegetables, i was able to think a little more rationally. certainly jabberjaw wasn't the top of the heap (or bottom of the pile) when it came to animation that stirred animosity.

so i now present to you the first (and possibly last)...

Scrappy Doo Awards!

named for the yoko ono of saturday morning cartoons who occupies his own personal corner of cartoon hell. this troublesome little bundle of puppy power charged his way onto the show and eventually into a spinoff that saw him elbow fred, daphne and velma completely out of the picture.

he had a shrill voice, his own catchphrase and stupid fanfare. every fiber of scrappy's ink and paint being went against all that the laid-back scooby and the gang stood for. his exploits stand alone when it comes to cartoon malfeasance. and for that, he will forever be memorialized with the award that bears his name.

so without further ado...here are this year's winners.

jabberjaw - where to begin with the aforementioned mr. jaw? that he was a shark that could easily move around on land? that he was the drummer in a rock band that featured no other aquatic performers? that he stole rodney dangerfield's signature "no respect" catchphrase? if you could stand his shrill, poorly-done curly howard impression long enough to be offended by the other things...kudos to you!

rubik the amazing cube - you may remember that several episodes of this dreadful show featured menudo. the band, not the soup. most of us who grew up in the '80s had one of these instruments of frustration. eventually we gave up and peeled the stickers off to put them in the right spots. but these kids, whenever necessary - even in times of great peril - could solve the rubik puzzle in nanoseconds. and if that wasn't annoying enough, solving the cube produced a little blue gremlin head and legs that could float around and stop c-level bad guys. just one more reason the slinky rocked!

hammerman - if you were lucky enough to have missed this show, or just blocked it out of your memory, i'll let this guy explain. the theme song alone puts it on the list. look, i realize that secret identities are the basis for most superheroes. but at least put on a mask or something. am i supposed to be dazzled by your baggy pants? and while you're at it, maybe you should solve the mystery of your missing money. probably won't happen since it would involve kicking your own ass.

marmaduke - animating a bad comic strip isn't solving anything. you're just offending the illiterate. fortunately, someone has tried to deliver us from cartoon evil.

captain planet - even with everyone trying to go green, these united colors of benetton do-gooders made you want to dump several quarts of used motor oil into the nearest stream. then there was the cap'n himself. having arrived fresh from macgyver's barber, he dispatched the bad guys with smug one liners and a high and mighty sense of self-satisfaction.

we'd like to thank more of this year's winners (losers?) but i hear the music starting to play me off...which way is the exit backstage?

night owls in orange county

it's nearly one o'clock in the morning and i'm absolutely exhausted. outside of the apartment there are noises. people still milling around, doing who knows what. the immediate answer would be that they're up to no good. after all, nothing good happens after midnight, right? chances are, however, that it's the innocent movement of night owls in orange county. could have been the title of a warren zevon tune - night owls in orange county. there is a liberating element to stream of consciousness. sort of a spalding gray, monster in a box sort of experiment. as i continue to write more regularly, i've noticed that i dream more frequently. not that i can remember any of them. what do they say about remembering dreams? who knows? i don't remember. not that any of them are bad or particularly good. bits and pieces stay with me. i remember having a dream about falling, through the levels of a multi-story shopping mall and seeing myself lifeless on the ground for a brief moment before waking up. supposedly that means i've cheated death. the concept of a hardboiled, hipster detective returned. the story has a beginning, but no middle or end. there are visions of hitmen in long black cars driving slowly past grieving parents in a cemetary. summertime by sam cooke playing on the radio. i sit staring at a box of crackers. off to my left in the kitchen sits a half eaten jar of peanut butter. the two were meant to combine for a late night snack. but late night snacks and best laid plans often are bedfellows. i spoke to midori today. she and i don't talk as often as we used to. but she is doing well. much better than i ever would have imagined. certainly the mild winters of southern california are much easier on her than the colder, foggier winters of the central valley. all around me is darkness and quiet, save for the tapping of the keyboard and the dome light in the kitchen. my concentration is broken briefly to check email - the distraction of the new millennium. my father made it a point to check the mailbox every day. as did i. now, however, instead of opening an aluminum box on a post, it's the ever present click on the aluminum box to check for a post. admittedly a strained analogy. but the distraction means that my focus is waning. the land of nod awaits. has been calling. i've been resisting. but it is futile to resist much longer. tomorrow is a new day. rather later today is a new day. or maybe a resumption of the current one. who knows? don't fight the feeling. i'm going to bed.

we don't need no thought control

when it routinely takes 45 minutes to get home from work, it's amazing the types of things that cross your mind.

from the mundane...

what am i having for breakfast tomorrow?

to the sublime...

i think we should scrap money and go back to the barter system.

to the just plain stupid.

the only people who don't like kissing are people with no lips.

weekdays are the anti-snowflakes. on the surface, they pretend to be different. offering new superficial beginnings. presenting myriad challenges of varying degrees of difficulty. then finishing with either mild rewards or disappointments commensurate to how those challenges were met.

but after further review...it's really the same pattern played out in a cosmic loop. sure, we wear different clothes, make different plans, find different diversions. even still it all remains oddly the same. the rats may take a different path through the maze, but it's no less of a race than it was the day before.

inevitably i get tired of running. those are the days i just want to drive away. not tell anyone where i'm going. drive until i run out of gas. until i don't recognize the street signs and until my favorite radio station doesn't come in anymore.

usually about that time, something great happens. my mind shuts off. it's amazing what you think about when you have nothing to think about. and it's so much better than thinking about what you think you should think about.

so i've learned to embrace the commute (sometimes). take it for what it's worth. those few moments to myself when i don't have to be myself. hell, i'm not getting out of the maze anytime soon. might as well learn to enjoy it.

....

sitting and staring at a blank screen, you realize how easily and often you think about nothing.

so many times people have asked me what i'm thinking about.

so many times i've said, "nothing."

and most of the time i don't think people believed me. but it's these moments that i realize that i really was thinking nothing. or if there were thoughts, they were fleeting. nothing lasting, nothing heavy. just a blank canvas with the occasional dusting of cognition flitting across.

it's those times when i've found myself to be most peaceful. in my occasional attempts to make yoga a more routine part of my life, the attempts to clear my mind have left me with a much calmer, more peaceful attitude that i've been able to carry with me throughout the day.

so i invite you to inhale deeply and just think of nothing for a few moments. generally beats the alternative.

biting the hand that feeds me

i love sports.

what's not to love? it really is reality television - or at least the closest thing that passes for reality on television. watch it daily and you never know how it ends and there's a good chance you'll see something you've never seen before.

i'm sure you can say the same for rock of love - bus tour, but i mean in a good way.

what i don't love is sports media.

probably not the best thing to say if a 24-hour sports talk radio network is paying your bills. in which case, i should probably be a little more specific. it's not the media that's the problem, it's the 24-hour news cycle and the need to constantly fill it with noise.

in the meantime, we are slowly lurching toward the high holy day on the american sports media calendar.

super bowl sunday.

for the next 10 days we'll be subject to all sorts of stories about all sorts of people even slightly connected to this game. few of which will have an impact on the game itself. all sorts of former athletes and pseudo-celebrities will use the next week and a half to promote products of all kinds. and even the stories that are germane to the actual game will be discussed ad nauseum.

hines ward's knee is pretty much the same now as it was 10 minutes ago!

i know that there are plenty of people who live for this. who lap up every story, anecdote and injury report as though it were mother's milk. not me.

the problem is that we have all sorts of time to fill, but really nothing of substance to fill it with. sure, the coaches and players talk all the time, but the fans, media and leagues themselves have made everyone afraid to actually say something.

how many times can you listen to a player take it one game at a time? don't we already know that you have to limit turnovers and get stops on third down? we've already figured out that Team X is a good football team...they got to the super bowl, didn't they?

post game shows are no better. we could plainly see that you failed to make big plays in key situations. yes, we all marveled at your efficiency in the red zone. we pretty much figured that you were proud of your guys and excited to bring the trophy home to _____________.

but say what you really think and chances are you'll be making a donation to the commissioner's fund. if not, then prepare for ridicule and public scorn by the talking heads and bleacher creatures.

say what you want about terrell owens and chad johnson *ahem* ocho cinco, but we could use more like him. as a sports fan, you should pray for the continued well-being of charles barkley. there aren't athletes willing to watch the games and call 'em as they are.

so i'll continue to watch the games. i'll continue to love the games. but if you want me to be excited about hearing another sermon from the Book of LaLoosh, well...count me out.

the part of No we should all understand

as inauguration day comes to a close in the pacific time zone, i was struck by one question...

how is this not a national holiday?

i don't ask strictly because of the historic nature of today's inauguration, but because of the significance of all inaugurations. we continually preach to the world that our democratic system is what all nations should strive for. we remark constantly about our ability to hold political and social discussions in a civilized forum and demonstrate how to transition power from one regime to another without violence.

inauguration day is the culmination of that democratic process that we hold so dear. if people want to talk about making the day after the super bowl a holiday (sarcastic or not), how can we not discuss making this one tuesday every four years worthy of stopping the business of the nation?

i do hope that you'll pardon yesterday's post. the spirit of the events that were to come swept me up and i may have become a bit grandiose. i thank you for indulging me. however i ask for your patience once again.

as the day has gone along, i have heard from those who are cynical about what the next four years may bring. in the wave of anticipation and good feeling that have led to the inauguration, we should not forget that there are many who did not feel that barack obama was the right person for the job.

but even before taking the oath of office, mister obama was making efforts to include dissenting voices into his cabinet. likewise, those of us who believe in the president's vision should not immediately discount rival opinions. our country is entering a period unlike any seen in generations. one that does not come with an easy blueprint to follow. and though it will take a concerted, unified effort to repair what is broken, it will also take a critical eye to forsee potential problems with the method.

my hope is that those who are critical disapprove for the sake of trying to make a better way. we should look to avoid pettiness and disagreement for its own sake. otherwise, we will find ourselves sunk further into the quicksand of the last eight years.

in the same way, let those who are supportive not follow blindly, but have the insight and foresight to accept constructive criticism and use it to shape their ideas and actions.

it's been an historic day, an unforgettable day for many and a day that we should all hope renews the promise of our country, our world and ourselves.

random thoughts for a Monday

when the united states government deemed it appropriate to designate a holiday in honor of martin luther king, jr., i don't believe they expected it to be celebrated by a full day of nba basketball. then again, no one expected us to celebrate president's day with half-off mattress sales, either...

under an unbroken blanket of cloudy sky, the hollywood hills backdrop los angeles. the signs of suburbia zoom past at 80 miles an hour while digable planets pours from the speakers. without warning - a flash of sliver fender and black rubber, a leftward jerk of the steering wheel and horns honking. moments later, the offending sedan is darting through traffic totally unaware the near calamity it caused. makes you realize how your day, week, life can be drastically changed in an instant...

it may not be a popular idea, but the so-called Collapse of Capitalism could lead to the resurrection of america. our nation was built on innovation and ingenuity. generations of america's best and brightest thought the unthinkable and pursued the unreachable. those ideals built the automobile, pioneered air travel, cured polio and put man on the moon. our intellectual endeavors led to unimaginable successes.

but with success came the spoils. we became fat and happy. we found more joy in the ends than the means. college campuses - once the centers of open discussion and enlightened thought - turned into bastions of political correctness and job training. but they were merely reflections of the era. we had created a system that eschewed philosophers for financiers. craved investors over inventors.

so we churned out a generation of stock brokers and hedge fund managers. we treated them like royalty for coin indeed was the coin of the realm. they spoke in complex and grandiose terms while manipulating a system that most people could never understand. after awhile it felt like moving pieces of paper from one side of a table to another.

now the curtain has been pulled back and the innerworkings appear to be so complicated that even the so-called "experts" are unsure how to solve it. we've been told that the solution is to take the money of the victimized and hand it over to the victimizers. distrust and discontent are growing.

and it's here where there is reason to be hopeful. oscar wilde wrote that discontent is the first step in the progress of a man or a nation. now that the golden calf has tarnished perhaps our pursuits will return to the means and not the ends. necessity will once again give birth to invention and innovation. and the spirit of adventure and discovery that created this country will once again shine...

as this mlk day comes to a close and we prepare to inaugurate a new president, i am truly excited. proud as a black man to see one of our own take residence in the white house, but more than that, i'm excited for the entire country. then-senator obama often spoke of there not being multiple americas - not a black america or white america; not blue states or red states; just the united states. perhaps it's rhetoric to some, but it's the foundation of why we can be hopeful.

there are those who would argue that there will be no change. that this government and this country will be status quo. but i believe that change has already begun. in the last year, we saw the full promise of the democratic process. many were introduced to it for the first time. many more were re-introduced after being disillusioned. millions have been inspired with a spirit of public service and volunteerism not seen since the days wnen a young, dynamic senator from massachusetts took the oval office, created the peace corps and challenged us to literally race for the stars.

so on inauguration day and every day forward, let not the shouts of "yes we can" fade into the ether. as barack obama takes the oath of office, we as americans should likewise take those words to heart and realize that as citizens of our country we have a duty to help it not only endure, but prosper. we have already demanded much from our president, but now it is time to demand more of the rest of our elected officials and perhaps more importantly, of ourselves. if we succeed in that, we will truly have change.

picture this...

the following story is based on a true...umm....story.

have you ever wondered how many people's vacation photos you're in?

not pictures that you took with your friends and tossed up on the InterWeb. those random photos involving people you've never met. walking around in the background at the county fair, stuffing fried roadkill into your face. staring bewildered at your upside down knott's berry farm map pointing off in three different directions. pulling your sister's hair at your cousin's graduation while your mom swats at you.

picture it...stockton, spring 1994.

after catching an unholy ass whoopin' at the california state academic decathlon, a young man shakes off his disappointment long enough to pose for a photo with his mother, sister and grandmother.

fast forward to los angeles, fall 1994.

the young man as a freshman in college, while discussing his high school experience, discovers his roommate - a person he'd never met until a few weeks prior - was also at the same academic competition...and has a picture to prove it. upon investigation, the young man recognizes a face in the background of one of the photos - his own. he goes home and digs through boxes of photos and finds his picture with his family. sure enough, his roommate appears behind him, posing with friends.

the point of that fractured flashback was not a roundabout way of telling everyone how small the world is. on the contrary, it's still a big world...though we've learned to shout quite a bit louder.

it's more that we're all interconnected. take for instance the fact that i once went to a bar and saw jason patric who was in the lost boys with kiefer sutherland who was in flatliners with kevin bacon.

*ahem*

as i was saying. we're all interconnected and sometimes we're fortunate enough to have our timelines loop around again. it's little quirks that make life so interesting.

or maybe i just have too much time on my hands.

eh, whatever....hey! tremors is on!

did you realize that you were a champion?

peer pressure's a bitch...

what is it about being rich and famous that means people expect you to be a champion of social and political causes?

tiger woods has accepted an invitation to speak at an inaugural event for President-elect Barack Obama. for this, some people have criticized the normally politically neutral woods as riding the coattails of a trailblazer instead of using his fame and influence to blaze the trail himself.

this isn't the first time. in the past, the likes of charles barkley and jim brown have complained that many high-profile black athletes have not used their prominence to promote a particular agenda.

having extra zeroes at the end of your bank account gives you a lot of things. a greater sense of social or political activism isn't necessarily one of them.

different people have different reasons for not thrusting themselves in the midst of national discussions. everything from not wanting to offend people to lack of knowledge to (gasp!) lack of interest.

add to it that as a fan, i don't care to hear these people give their thoughts on life. i marvel at tiger woods because he can hit a golf ball longer and straighter than i could ever dream to...not because of his hypotheses on how to resurrect the economy. his iq or social conscience does not increase with his bank account. and we're stupid for believing it should.

as this generation has matured, we've seen plenty of our cultural "leaders" grow more irrelevant as a function of the era and their own need for constant attention.

see: jackson, jesse

when do we realize that the true leaders among us attain that designation because of a sincere desire to affect change? not because of some forced obligation that comes with an entry into a higher tax bracket.

peer pressure really is a bitch. thankfully, tiger's immune to pressure.

Barack's Book Club

as someone who is unabashedly against All Things Oprah, i get somewhat annoyed at the praise that is heaped on her book club as though she has singlehandedly saved literature - especially when she chooses classic novels.

now it appears that President-Elect Barack Obama is having a similar effect on readers and publishers alike. admittedly it's a bit hypocritical, but it doesn't bother me as much.

perhaps it's my distaste for a woman i consider to be a self-absorbed phony (quick! how many people have appeared on the cover of o magazine?). maybe it's my love of All Things Obama (is there a Frankenword for that yet? perhaps...Obamadoration?).

or maybe it's that he's a person whose influence is not perception, but reality.

we'd all like to know what makes the most influential among us tick. possibly because somewhere deep inside we would like to emulate them. but it seems less genuine when those same people openly tell us what to do, where to go and how to act.

the grown up in me hears what you're saying...but the kid in me is sticking my fingers in my ears and going "LALALALALALALALALA!!!!!!!!"

remember how great sean "puffy" combs was when he diggin' in the crates and building beats that sounded fresh and new? and remember how quickly puff daddy wore us out by recycling hits of the late '80s and early '90s? there was genius in his mystery. the later stuff may have sold more, but after awhile, it just sounded lazy.

for the time being, President Obama will have bigger worries than what's on his amazon recommendations list. and while the american public looks for an administration with a bit more transparency, this is one instance in which i hope we all have to work a little harder to see what's behind the curtain.

Welcome to the Island

welcome to The Island of Misfit Toys!

this isn't a haven for anything. it's not a refuge for the lost or a rest stop for the wayward. it's not your first stop for this or the last word in that.

it's a little bit of everything...a potpourri, if you will. some things may grab you. some things may just piss you off. but hopefully everything is worth reading and (if you're so inclined) discussion worthy.

so thanks for stopping by. hope to see you soon.